Life Lesson #42

Life Lesson #41

Give me a time machine...

If you were to travel back in time three months and tell me what my life is like right now, I would probably laugh at you because it would sound so ridiculous. 

A new group of friends, helping someone close through a really difficult time but only being able to do so much, the possibility of someone I never thought would be a possibility and not knowing which direction to take with said person, knowing I'll be traveling around Europe alone without my best friend, losing my favorite co-worker/gaining the twin of my least favorite co-worker, finally figuring out what I want to do career-wise... 

it's all bittersweet.  And confusing, very confusing. 

I don't know what lesson God is trying to teach me right now, but I just hope and pray that I'll make the right decisions and do my best to help others along the way. 

I guess the only comfort I really have is knowing I'm right where I'm supposed to be and my journey will unfold exactly the way it should.

Crushin'

This made me smile :]

Reflection

Life has really been set into perspective the past week or so. Growing up has been on the back of my mind for a while now, and I'd like to hope that I'm coming to terms with it. And the thing that really got me thinking about it was the 10th anniversary of 9/11. It was half a lifetime ago for me. I was a child when it happened, and I guess knowing that 10 years has gone by since that day has really opened my eyes. 

9/11 was the first moment I witnessed true evil in the world. Before then, I had heard about all the awful things that happen out there, but it was never here... I remember believing that nothing bad could ever happen on our soil because we lived in America.
Nothing could touch us. 

I still remember walking into my 5th grade class that September day and seeing the tears on my teacher's face as we all sat and watched the second tower come down. For months after, we were blasted with images and stories of everything that happened that day. I remember watching the news a few days after as they showed bodies strewn in the rubble and families posting pictures of their loved ones on walls that seemed to stretch on forever. And even though I didn't know anyone who died that Tuesday morning, I still cry every single year for them.

I watched the memorial service that was held at Ground Zero on Sunday morning and it made me realize that life truly does go on. They talked about finally healing the scar on the New York skyline as the Freedom Tower went up story by story, replacing the void left empty for so long. The majority of all the police, firemen and other rescue workers have all retired. The man responsible is rotting at the bottom of the ocean. And at the same time, that day will never be forgotten. It will be on the back of everyone's mind forever. I thought about what life will be like in another 10 years... I will probably be teaching my kids about what came out of the clear blue sky that day. And I will teach them that life goes on. And we can either choose to hang onto the past and let it consume us, or keep facing each new day and make the best out of what God has given us. 

Never forget.

Less than a year!

As some of you may know, I'm going to Europe next summer with my bff! Only 335 more days till I'm on a plane bound for London! I made my first payment for my trip back in February thinking that time would drag on way longer than it actually has. I can't even believe that a year from today I'll be on my way home from the biggest adventure of my life. Words can't even describe how excited and grateful I am for this opportunity to see a place I have always dreamed of seeing.

But while I play the waiting game, it's been really fun piecing together things for my trip. 

- I got my first passport! Yay!

- A new camera complete with 4 extra memory cards and an extra battery.

- A pack of compression bags so I can take extra cute clothes.

-  And a bunch of other odds and ends I've been collecting along the way.

I still have a lot more work to do before my trip, but it has been fun taking the steps to eventually get to where I want to be in 11 months. 

life opens up when you do

The reason I've been a bit off the radar lately is because I've really been trying to make this summer amazing. And so far so good! I've spent the past couple of months doing all things summery and I've loved every second of it. Hence the reason I've spent more time outside than on my computer.

I guess sometimes when things are going really well you have time to stop and take a good long look at life. So far I've learned that:

A. I have no idea what I want to do with major I'm currently majoring in. No idea.

B. Hence the reason why I'll only be taking Spanish and math the next couple of semesters until I figure it out.

C. And also because I need to save up for my month long excursion to Europe that I'll be taking next summer. Win, win.

D. After going to Europe I plan on re-applying for the Disney College Program and moving my butt to sunny California. I guess the one thing I really know I want to be someday is a Disney Imagineer. 

E. After the DCP (that is, if I get in), I'll hopefully know exactly which direction I want to go in at Disney, so I can go back to school confident in my decision.

So now when people ask me what I want to do with my life, although lengthy, I'll finally have an answer. 

Change is good, right?

Infinite Potential

The other day I was standing at the sink washing dishes and watching my dog run around outside in the backyard. I noticed him playing with something and saw to my horror that it was a baby robin. I raced outside and stopped him, but the little bird was really hurt. He had been out with his mom learning how to fly.

I realized that he would never know what it felt like to fly. He was born with all the potential to do so, but his chances were cut short so early in his life. And then I thought about how often we cut ourselves short of our own potential. We are born with the ability to do whatever we set our mind to and work hard to get. And although outside forces sometimes hinder our ability to measure up, the majority of the time we are the ones standing in our own way of greatness. 

So live each day to your fullest potential. Say the things you mean, and do the things you say. Never give up hope or lose faith in yourself, because you have everything you need to achieve anything you want.

In terms of forever...

"The Great Commandment" 

by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

"... There once was an elderly man and woman who had been married for many decades. Because the wife was slowly losing her sight, she could no longer take care of herself the way she had done for so many years. Without being asked, the husband began to paint her fingernails for her.

'He knew that she could see her fingernails when she held them close to her eyes, at just the right angle, and they made her smile. He liked to see her happy, so he kept painting her nails for more than five years before she passed away.' 

That is an example of the pure love of Christ. Sometimes the greatest love is not found in the dramatic scenes that poets and writers immortalize. Often, the greatest manifestations of love are the simple acts of kindness and caring we extend to those we meet along the path of life.

True love lasts forever. It is eternally patient and forgiving. It believes, hopes, and endures all things. That is the love our Heavenly Father bears for us.

We all yearn to experience love like this. Even when we make mistakes, we hope others will love us in spite of our shortcomings—even if we don’t deserve it.

Oh, it is wonderful to know that our Heavenly Father loves us—even with all our flaws! His love is such that even should we give up on ourselves, He never will.

We see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. Our Heavenly Father sees us in terms of forever. Although we might settle for less, Heavenly Father won’t, for He sees us as the glorious beings we are capable of becoming.

The most cherished and sacred moments of our lives are those filled with the spirit of love. The greater the measure of our love, the greater is our joy..."

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The pictures I included in this post are of my Grandparents Jack and Nell. They loved each other more than anything in the world. When my Grandpa died several years ago, one of the main things that was said at his funeral was how beautiful their love for each other was. They were together for nearly 60 years and never had a single fight! 
One of my favorite stories was of their first date. My handsome Grandpa had just arrived home from fighting in WWII and all the girls were after him. My Grandma happened to be in his ward and out of all the swooning girls fawning over him, he asked my Grandma on a date. On their date he drove her up to a spot overlooking the Salt Lake Valley that us young kids now call "The Ocean". Even back then it was the prime make-out location. My poor Grandma was uneasy about being there, and her fears grew even more when he casually put his arm around her in the front seat. But instead of going in for a kiss, he reached into the backseat and grabbed his guitar to serenade her! How cute is that? He was the perfect gentleman.

Their story is what I dream for myself to someday have. Even though I was young, I knew just by watching how they would look at each other that their love was pure and unwavering. Sometimes it's hard not knowing if I'll ever find someone who will treat and love me as much as my Grandpa loved my Grandma, but after reading this talk by Elder Wirthlin I know that if I never give up hope, someday I'll be able to start my own love story with someone just as loving and dear as he was.

Update of a lifetime!

Since my birthday, I have started 3 blog posts and ended up getting bored half way through writing them and didn't post them, one of those being a review of my 19th year and my 20 before 20 challenge (don't worry, I'll post everything once the craziness dies down). The past couple of weeks have been insane-in-the-membrane for some strange reason, but I have fabulous news that I just couldn't hold in!.....

I'm going to EUROPE!!

I won't be leaving until June 2012, but hopefully the long wait will make it even more worth while! I'll be heading abroad for a month in a place I have ALWAYS wanted to go with a college tour group and my bestie RayCray! Words can't even describe how excited I am! 

Here are some of the places I'll be going...

London, UK

Paris, France

Amsterdam, Holland

Heidelberg, Germany

Lucerne, Switzerland

Verona, Italy

Venice, Italy

Rome, Italy

Florence, Italy

The French Riviera

Barcelona, Spain

Madrid, Spain

AHHH SO EXCITED!!

Have you ever been to any of these places? What do I need to see, eat, do and buy while there? Any tips or advice? THANKS!

Let's be honest...

The Travel Bug

I have the travel bug... quite possibly because I've been at home all weekend with a cold so naturally I've been living on my couch watching travel shows on Netflix. One of those shows was Destination Truth. They basically go to all sorts of places all over the world searching for myths. Like leprechauns in Ireland, lake monsters in Turkey, ghosts at Chernobyle, mermaids in the Caribbean, lizard men in South Carolina... you get the picture. I want a job like that. Best. Job. EVER!

Somewhere in-between watching these shows, crocheting scarves, and playing Pocket Frogs on my iTouch (highly entertaining), I made a list of the Top 5 places I want to see in the (hopefully) near future.

1. Egypt

Going to Egypt is my absolute DREAM. Egyptian history has always been my absolute favorite: if I were to pick any time and place to live, it would be Ancient Egypt. When I go, I want to ride a camel beside the pyramids, and explore tombs in the Valley of the Kings, and sail down the Nile, and see everything in the Egyptian Museum in Cairo. Zahi Hawass is basically my hero.

2. Europe

I decided to group all of Europe into this category because it would fill up the rest of my Top 10 if I didn't. I want start out in the UK, considering that's where my ancestor's are from. I want to see the rolling Irish fields, the hustle and bustle of London, and reenact the battle in Braveheart in Scotland. Then I'll head to the mainland and see Paris, the Alps, visit my friends in Germany, eats loads of European chocolate, and then I'll end the visit in Italy. My second favorite history is the Roman's history. I want to take one of those cheesy thumbs up/down pictures in the Colleseum, ride on the back of some hot Italian man's Vespa, try every flavor of gelato, find the Pope at the Vatican, and throw a coin in every fountain I see. 

3. India

I think the Indian culture is quite possibly the most beautiful culture in the world. I love the bright colors and the intricate designs... I just love everything about it. After going to the Holi Festival here in Utah last Spring, going to an actual Holi Festival in India was added to my bucket list. Another thing on my list is riding an elephant through the jungle. 

4. Africa

When I was in the 9th grade, my fellow classmates and I had the daunting task of having to memorize every country of the world in our geography class. At the end of the year we had to draw and label the entire world. As frightening as that may sounds, it was one of my favorite classes. The best part was the 'Africa Song', which put all 53 countries in Africa to a catchy tune... It's basically the 'Small World' song of geography classes, you'll never be able to forget it. It's been years since 9th grade, but I can guarantee you that everyone who ever learned the 'Africa Song' can still sing every line of it today. Even though I can list every country in Africa, I couldn't tell you exactly where I want to go there. Just as long as there are adorable African children to hug, giraffes and zebras on a jeep safari, and loads of kaki attire, I'm there.

5. New York City

The Big Apple! It's one of those places that you have to experience at least once (if not more than once) in your life. My need to see the city only intensified after I started watching Gossip Girl. Now all I want is to stroll around the Upper East Side in designer clothes. Eating New York famous pizza and seeing a show on Broadway are a must as well.

These are just a few of the places I want to see before I die. All I know is that my goal is to see as many places in this breathtaking world we live in as I can. All I need now is a boat-load of cash and a passport... the passport part will be easy, finding a boat filled with cash? Not so much.

Hello, hello

As I'm writing this, fireworks are going off up at my old high school. I'm sitting in the den by the big windows and the booms and pops are echoing down the hill to my house. Tonight was this year's senior dinner dance... the last big hurrah before the actual party of graduation begins. It feels like just yesterday I was at an old hotel downtown with everyone I grew up with, dancing and laughing and having the time of our lives at our senior dinner dance. None of us knew what was waiting for us on the other side of our little protective bubble we were so eager to pop. And for that one night, we didn't worry about the future. We just soaked in the last few moments we all had together. My last memory of that night was when the DJ turned off the music and announced it was time to go home. Everyone flooded the dance floor one last time and sang "Nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey hey, goodbye..." And that was the moment it hit me that the rest of my life was waiting for me, like a freshly poured slab of concrete and a bucket full of sidewalk chalk.

Since that time almost exactly a year ago, I've learned that nothing goes as planned. I remember the night of graduation, I pictured what my life would be like a year from that day. I won't go into detail about what type of person I envisioned myself as, but I can tell you that the future self I pictured is nothing like the person writing this right now. I have learned some important lessons since that night...

1. Life is much more enjoyable when you take risks. Of course, some risks take a bit more thought than others, but once you make that decision just go out there and do it! Whoever said "nothing ventured, nothing gained" was a wise, wise person. Never leave any room for what-if's. That is the one phrase you will never want to utter when you look back on your life someday.

2. When things are going great, enjoy every moment of them. When they're not, just remember that they won't stay that way for long. A lot of the time those hard times teach you valuable lessons and also make for great stories you can laugh about later. Basically, always acknowledge that every situation has a bright side, and find it.

3. Accept changes. They are coming your way if you wished for them, or not. You might as well try to enjoy them.

4. Don't pay any attention to what others think about you. It seems to me that there are three types of people: 1) Those who try to fit in, 2) those who don't care, and 3) those who reject all things "popular" in order to be different. Be a #2 person. If you like that Ke$ha song, you dance and sing your little heart out. If you like to wear bright pink Croc shoes, you go ahead and do that. If you find watching C-SPAN to be highly invigorating, you watch it! Just do what makes you happy. There is no need to try and act like everyone else, and there is no need to set yourself apart from everyone else. Just be yourself and do what makes you happy.

Create

I love this video. It has a great message and the music is beautiful too. 

It really doesn't matter what you believe in, but I think this video rings true for us all. And I think it's really neat to know that the things we create will live on far after we ourselves have left this world. When we create, we will never be forgotten.

Fresh Air

Absolutely

I've come to learn that sometimes I am better off alone. I'm happier, I have more time to focus on the important things in life, I work harder and laugh louder. When I start falling in love my mind is always on him... I can't concentrate, my mind is always racing. One second I'm on top of the world and the next I'm getting smashed at the bottom. I spend less and less time with the people that mean the most to me and lose pieces of myself along the way. And then, when my world drops out from under me, I'm left with nothing.

I'd like to believe that someday the right person will come along and love me like my grandfather loved my grandmother: completely and absolutely. But until that day comes, I'm perfectly okay with being alone.

#19 Festival of Colors

On the last full moon of the lunar month, Hindu's and many other people all over the world celebrate the end of Winter and the arrival of Spring. They do so by having a Holi Festival, aka the Festival of Colors. Thousands gather together and are given, or purchase, bags of vibrant colored flour/chalk and count down until a full blown "color war".

The biggest Holi Festival in the United States is held at the Lotus Krishna Temple in a small town here in Utah called Spanish Fork. People fly in from all over the US to attend, and thousands of Utah residents make the drive to Spanish Fork every year. Well over 30,000 people participated this year and 50,000 bags of colors were imported from India and were completely sold out.

I had the opportunity to go to the second session yesterday and it was honestly one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had. I went with some of my close high school friends and we almost didn't make it on time. Spanish Fork is about 50 miles south of Salt Lake City and normally takes about an hour to get there. There were so many people on the freeway driving down there that it took almost 2 hours. People were parking up and down the streets all over the town and we had to park about a mile or so away. We got there just two minutes before the countdown started and when we went to buy the bags of colors they had been sold out for over 20 minutes. So we just headed down into the crowd and counted down with the tens of thousands of other people.

When the countdown ended handfuls of colors were thrown up into the sky, and into people's faces :] The air was so thick with colors that we could hardly breathe for a few minutes.

We sang, we danced, we celebrated!

Charity, Melissa, and I

Me and Mary Joy!

Will's face!

My eye.

Charity's eye.

Laura and I.

Charity and Mary.

Melissa and I.

Llamas!

Here are a few videos of the festival... MAKE SURE TO WATCH THEM!!

I love learning about other cultures and religions and this was a perfect opportunity to do so. I think a lot of times people fear things they don't understand, and some of the time they don't want to take the time to understand because they have already made their own assumptions. If we would just take the time to get to know people and learn about what they believe and where they are coming from, we will realize that despite our differences, we have a lot in common. We are all human and we all share this world.

Going to this festival really opened up my eyes and made me realize even more that we are all in this together and despite our differences, we need to love and take care of each other. It doesn't matter where you come from, what you believe in or what color your skin is: we are all alike in some way or another. 

This festival was all about bringing people from all different backgrounds together to celebrate something we can all relate to. Nobody cared if you were Hindu, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, or any other religion and it honestly gave me hope that someday we can all put our differences aside and learn to finally get along and learn to live together peacefully. 

Needless to say, I am making the Festival of Colors an annual tradition from here on out. It was honestly one of the greatest things I have ever had the chance to be a part of and I can't wait to go again next year.  

If you ever have the chance to go to this festival DO IT! Just be prepared to get super messy and sneeze out rainbows for a few days after. I promise you won't ever regret it!

Life Lesson #6

One thing I've had to keep reminding myself of lately is that everything happens for a reason. Even if that reason makes no sense, it's there for a purpose, and in the end it will only be for good. Sometimes turning away and saying goodbye are the hardest things to do, but if you just keep smiling, even if it hurts, and remember that life goes on, it makes the break a little cleaner.

Lucky for me I have amazing friends and family that help me get through each day and provide a little laughter and love along the way. Good friends help pick up the pieces when you can't seem to find them on your own.

And then a new day dawned...

Last night I dreamed I was Alice. I stepped through her magic mirror and there you were, three years younger at the airport with your family. You were wearing that baby blue shirt of yours that I always said matched your eyes. Everyone embraced you and cried as if you'd be gone for a while. As you boarded the plane you turned to me and looked me in the eyes. Expecting a hateful gaze I flinched, but instead you smiled... just as if everything that happened between us didn't matter anymore. I smiled back. You waved goodbye as you walked down the platform and somehow, I knew that goodbye would be forever.

When I awoke, that guilty feeling I've been carrying around all these years for hurting you was finally gone. 

Thanks for letting go.

Birthday Wishes

So today is my birthday. I am now in my very last year as a teenager *tear*sniff*. Every year I set my alarm for 5:00am so I can reminisce about the past year and think about how much I have changed. It's always weird to me every time; counting down the seconds I have left in that particular year in my life. And then at 5:01am, I'm a whole year older.

This morning I replayed my eighteenth year all over again and I can honestly look back and say I don't regret a thing.

My last few months of high school were definitely tough. Brighton High School became a prison to me after sophomore year and I was practically counting down the days until I graduated. It wasn't until a month before graduation that I realized it was nearly over. And instead of being happy about it, I was actually kind of sad. So I went to every graduation party, I decided to stop caring about what everyone else thought and just be myself, I took hundreds of pictures to save the memories, and I decided to try and enjoy myself. Funny thing is that I actually did. I was sick of my past mistakes dictating how I lived my life so I changed that. When graduation day came around I didn't know how to feel. Half of me was extremely happy and relieved to finally be done, and the other half wanted to start all over and not take one second for granted.

That summer my grandmother was pretty sick and needed someone to take care of her. So I went over to her house almost every day and spent the best summer of my entire life there. On the days she wasn't feeling well I would sit in the rocking chair next to where she was sleeping on the couch and read or played soduko or wrote in my journal. My favorite memory that summer was on a day Grandma was feeling really happy and well. We pulled out some chairs that were stored in the garage and sat on her back porch and simply talked and laughed and napped and watched the birds in the bird feeder. Grandma was reading the newspaper and she covered her face with it while she slept. I remember looking in the back garden at all the white daises and gazing up at the dark summer blue sky and just listening to her breathe softly. That same day I went down to the lawn and picked a whole sack full of ripe pears from the pear tree and we stood in front of the window by the kitchen sink and ate so many we had to take another nap. Time seemed to slow to almost a halt at Grandma's house. The way she took  time to do everything she did amazed me. I was so used to busy, busy, busy and multitasking and getting everything done as fast as possible. I'm so grateful for my beautiful Grandma and how she taught me to sloooow dooown and smell the roses. I love my Grandma more than anything and that summer will always have a very special place in my heart.

When the summer months died down I went back to school. This time it was college and I was in for a world of change. The campus at the University of Utah is enormous. The first day I thought I was going to die because it was in the high 90's and I swear all my classes were on opposite sides of the campus. Eventually the long walks became one of my favorite part of going to school each day because I got to stretch my legs and breathe in the clean mountain air. I made a lot of new friends and strengthened old ones. I fell in love with the diversity there. Everyone I met was completely different than the next person and I loved just sitting on the grass under the big oak trees and watching all the different people go by and catching bits of their conversations. I learned how hard college was. I had to nearly fail a class to realize it, but now I know. It gave me a greater appreciation for the chance I have to learn and grow here.

This was the year I started dating again. All through high school it seemed that no matter how many times I would fall for a guy I would always end up hurt and bitter. By the time senior year rolled around I totally swore off dating because I was sick of guys thinking I was just some kind of toy they could toss out when they got bored or found something better. It carried over into my first semester at the U because I was so afraid of getting hurt again. And then one day at the start of this semester a guy at the bookstore asked for my number and suddenly dating wasn't such a big deal anymore. One thing my dating break taught me is that everything happens for a reason and to not even worry about what might or might not happen in the future. It taught me to simply live each moment as it comes and see where it takes you. It had been forever since I had the butterflies after meeting and getting to know someone knew and somehow the break made it all the more sweeter and exciting.

A year ago today I was a completely different person than I am now. I had a slightly sour disposition on life and it seemed that nothing really caught my interest or excited me much. Then a change in my surroundings and routine woke me up and I myself changed not only who I was, but changed my entire outlook on life.

So this year as I blow out my birthday candles, I will wish for a new year that is just as amazing and change-filled as last. I wish that at 5:00am on February 10, 2011,  I will be able to look back on this year with no regrets and that I will be proud of who I am and what I accomplished. And hopefully at 5:01am, when I turn 20, I will be able to go back to sleep content and happy with the direction my life is going.

Here's to being 19! May this year be full of laughter, smiles, love, happiness, and the occasional pitfall so I can learn to pick myself back up again. Cheers!